First it's messy...
We know that during the pandemic, everything gets messy and everyone is somehow affected: it could be financially impacted, health related, self-isolation triggered mental problems, job security or relationship with family or friendship at risk, or a combination of the above.
For me personally, the impact is deep: in the middle of the pandemic and losing my job, I decided to talk to my father overseas whom I've never seen nor spoken to in 18 years! Long story short, after talking to him over the phone, I found myself in the deepest vulverable state and facing my biggest fear and insecurity for the very first time. But that's not point of the blog post, it's more about sharing what I do in the last month to help me work towards healing my body and soul...
Be prepared, there's lots of crying...
Let's be honest with ourselves, we do need to cry it out loud from time to time to let all the anger, dissappointment and resentment come out, the more we bury them deep down, the uglier it becomes and it will come back to bite us later in our life. So I cried consistently for a few nights....(apologies to my lovely musician neighbour here).... until I feel much calmer, lighter...that I'm finally able to sleep at night.
P.S. If you are incapable of crying, please read this article
Things don't necessarily get better from here.
The emotions of insecurity, loneliness do come back to haunt me almost every second day. What I found that helps me is to take care of my body first.
At that stage, I couldn't pick myself up to do anything challegning nor don't feel like talking to anyone at all. However I did somehow manage to drag myself to take a long bath with flowers. I found a bottle of beautiful bath salt sitting next to my bath tub for almost half a year and I've neglected it all along! I did give it a go and put some beautiful leftover fresh flowers in the bath, turned out it was the highlight of the whole day (arguably even a whole week)! Here I personally recommend AUTUMN BLEND BATH SALTS from raw.suds. At the long bath, I come to realisation that our body is like the hardware to a super complex machine, if we don't take care of the machine and overrun it constantly, give it love and care that it long deserves, the software would not run well and break down one day!
Floral Bath with leftover flowers
Bath Salt from Raw.Suds
After serveral relaxing baths and feel slightly better,
I decided to make time for myself, immerse in nature.
What works for me is to connect with nature, given that I'm a Taurus (an earth sign), connecting with soil, trees, flowers is really important to me. Hence I spent lots of time walking inside gardens, exploring new hiking routes nearby, sometimes I find myself talking to the garden roses in the park every day as if we are friends for ages and just saying hello to see how they have been on that day!My nature friends
Once a kid and his father walked past me, the kid asked 'who's that?'. Both his dad and me thought he was asking about me, turned out he was pointing at a tree, as if there's a person standing inside the tree and the kid is just curious about who that person is! I do believe there's spirit in every tree, maybe it's in a form of a 'person' or maybe it's some sort of grounded energy that we can feel. I do sometimes find the calming vibe from a tree, do any people out there feel the same?
The trees that gave me strength
..... to be continued